No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
