I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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