maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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