Your tits are I can't wait for
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
