hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I think I am morally bankrupt
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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