Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
