Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
