then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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