hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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