This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
