remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
