Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
