between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
