At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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