Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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