I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
