I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
