did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
