The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
