Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
do herpes really smell.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
