Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
