I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
