I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
