I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
