Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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