I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
