apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
