part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
