i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
