I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
