Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
