I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
