She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
