He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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