What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
