His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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