they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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