And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
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