his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
