they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
