Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
