I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I have aggressive nipples.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My feet surprised me
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