Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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