do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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