Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
