I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
