honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
