Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
