I'm drive I can fine osifer
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
