It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
